White coat. Heels.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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