Kiss
Puke
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
