You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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