So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
