Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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