he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
