I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
