dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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