Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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