yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
