I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
