I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
