i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
