We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
