So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
