Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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