Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
