I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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