There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
