i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
