STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
