We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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