Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
