Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
