So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
