you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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