at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
