her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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