Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
