I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
either way he was missing a nipple.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
