my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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