just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
