this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
someone owes me an orgasm
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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