She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
