he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
