I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
