All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
