Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
jump out the window naked night went bad
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
