Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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