and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
