Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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