i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
