He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
