I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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