we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
