I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
