In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Randomize
