I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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