Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
