He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
