Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
