yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
