what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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